Heroes... *sigh*

Season one, though far from flawless, was fantastically awesome. I was on the edge of my seat! My mind raced with crazy crack-o-licious theories! There were only one or two characters I really wanted to see buried underground in a kryptonite lined vault... now?

*sigh*

While a few plot twists are so over the top, so over done (even for this show), so melodramatic (Sylar, I am your father mother), I can't even muster the energy to roll my eyes, it's the character assassination I am having the most trouble with.

1. Hiro... you used to be my hero. You were cutely dorktastic. You were the fanboy/fangirl inside us all who found himself living inside the comic book. You were naïve, and pure of heart, yet held a certain wisdom in that naivety. You wanted to be a hero, save the world… and I was eagerly anticipating your growth into the cynical and world weary, but still heroic, future!Hiro we glimpsed briefly in season one.

That never happened. You got sent on some pointless plot token quest into the past that was boring and… pointless. But hey! It’s an all new season. And now you are a caricature of your season one self. After all you have been through, shouldn’t you have, I dunno, had some character development? Outside of Peter and Sylar, you have the most powerful of all the super powers. Yet you are bumbling around all Don Quixote style with Pancho Ando for comic relief, screwing things up you have absolutely no clue about, including your friendship with Ando. You are smarter than this! Remember future!Hiro?

2. Nathan… you discover you can fly, people with super powers are popping up all around you, your wife is miraculously healed from the crippling effects of an accident you blame yourself for, you nearly burn to death saving New York from your exploding brother who heals himself, then goes back in time to save you… and NOW you find religion? After an itty bitty gun shot wound fails to kill you dead? And we are supposed to believe this? I am having a much easier time digesting Sylar as your brother, to be honest.

3. Mohinder… you’ve suffered from a tragic case of the stupids since last season, but I thought perhaps you had learned your lesson. Nope. You shot yourself up with something you technobabbled into existence in the space of two scenes, and now you are Spiderman. A slutty, sticky Spiderman.

4. Isaac… why are you black and living in the desert?

5. Peter… I thought your emo ass with your emo hair was stupid and lame from day one. I really didn’t think you could get any stupider. But you did. Killing Nathan was the first thing you thought of as a way to prevent the sooper sekrit super secret (such that it is, you know, secret) from getting out? Seriously? Let’s pretend for a moment Nathan’s not your brother, just some random dude. Other people know! Lots of people know! It’s getting out! That was so stupid, your own mother loves Sylar more than you now.

5. HRG aka Noah… You have been the single most interesting character all along. I wish they’d cut out a bunch of these side plot supers (starting with Maya) and make the show primarily from your point of view. Company man, not a company man? You always have your own agenda. Which is what I love about you. But you are teetering on the edge right now. You had some close moments last season. I am finding you and Sylar as buddy cops extremely hard to swallow. I know you have your reasons, but I am seriously doubting the ability of the writers of this show to pull it off in such a way that is believable to my satisfaction.

6. Matt… I like you, I like the *idea* of you, but you lost your relevance a long ass time ago.

All that said… some character arcs/revelations hold some promise:

1. Niki/Jessica/Tracy… is a CYLON!! While there were times Niki really bugged, I… kinda miss her. I am glad she’s back in ice princess form. This is a plot twist I can get behind. If one of Ali Larter’s characters starts to get annoying and lame, they just kill her off Kenny style and bring her back as someone else. Sweet!

2. Sylar… You are one of the few characters who have become more interesting with time, not less. I love a good redemption arc. I also love a good I-am-just-making-you-all- THINK-I-have-found-redemption arc. I am waiting for the moment you slice open Mommy Dearest’s head and not eat her brains (tick tock!). I think a big part of my love for Sylar is the acting. Zachary Quinto has chemistry with everything within a twenty mile radius of his person, including the furniture. I suspect that no matter what the writers throw at this dude, he’ll make it work.

3. Claire… fuck ya’ll, I am going to kick some super villain ass! Finally. She can’t die, people. High school can wait. Although it would be the height of awesome if that Box-o-Villains turns out to be a Box-o-Invoices and she spends the next few weeks tracking down Primatech Paper’s slow payers

4. Mr. Muggles.... he was in a preview for the next episode. I was getting worried they’d killed him off. They didn’t. Yay!